Happy 4th Birthday Makenzie

My Dear Makenzie,

 

It has been quite a year for you.  I've watched you grow and develop before my  eyes. This year you became a big sister.  What a joy it has been for me to see you  love and nurture your little brother.  Some days you do a better job than me at  remembering his basic needs for diaper changes, food, and hugs & kisses. 

 

If I could describe you in one sentence I would say: you are a child who cherishes  life.  You find opportunity for joy in most everything, even when life isn't going  as planned and things seem unfair. You exuberate a peace about loving who you are  right where you're at. I am humbled by the amazing way you do this, as this is a  difficult thing for me.  This attitude is contagious and people just love having  you around.  And as you grow older I pray that this ability to love life no matter  what, remains in you and that you can encourage others to find this inner peace.

 

I stand in awe of how kind you are to others.  I've watched you give up something  important to you to put a smile on someone else.  Your selflessness is a gift.   When others are hurting, you hurt; when others are joyful, you are joyful with  them.  I've seen you sob because your brother was frustrated or in pain.

 

This year our family's motto has been "No big deal" or as Uncle Scott would say,  "No big whup", and there are many days when you remind me of this.  I've heard you  say (more than once), Mama, what do we say when things like this happen?.

 

You still love art and just about everyday you ask to do a project with water,  paint, glue, flour, play-doh, or markers... anything that you can create a mess...  Masterpiece with.  Each day you create and I just watch and listen as your art  comes alive.  Suddenly you are taking your dog named Harver (created with play-doh)  to the park (drawn with markers), then to the store (made with sand) to buy some  bones (made with flour).  I love to just watch where your creativity will take you  and envision the imaginary places with you... the places that seem so real in your  mind.  Thank you Kenzie, for reminding me how to be a kid and just have fun when  the pressure of life is pushing down hard around me.

 

You love to cook. This year we had the opportunity to take a Kids in the Kitchen  class together; just you and me.  I treasured this time as our alone time together  doesn't come often.  You were clearly the most talented chef in the class; you have  had lots of practice.

 

You are a strong, confident girl with an excitement for what lies ahead of you each  day.  I pray for you Kenzie.  I pray that the greed and selfishness that saturate  this world won't infect you and take from you your love for others, your giving  heart, and your joyful spirit.  I pray that I can be the mother you need and that I  encourage these God given qualities in you.

 

Each year as I begin to write you your birthday letter I can't help but remember  how shocked and petrified I was when I found out I was pregnant with you.  And  every year I can't imagine my life without you and I thank God for you.  Through  your 4 years of life you have taught me so much. Your dynamic personality has  brought a unique flavor to this family and it is one that I never want to go a day  without.

 

You are my girl and for that alone you are precious and special.  But it is who you  are that makes you Makenzie, and I am so proud to be called your Mama.

 

I love you with all of my heart!

Happy 4th Birthday.

Mama

Love for the Barber

I just can't imagine why my kids love going to the barber shop for haircuts?  It must be that they enjoy perusing through those style magazines to find the best haircut suitable for their hair type... nah.  It must be their love for a checker board floor.... nah.  What could it possibly be?

New Book of the Bible

Me: Korben, what is your memory verse this week?

 

Korben:  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

 

Me:  Where is it found in the Bible?

 

Korben:  In the beginning.

 

Me: True, what book of the bible is it found in?

 

Korben:  Jennifer 1:1

Halloween

We were originally scheduled to be traveling home from our annual trip to South Carolina on Halloween.  I decided we would forfeit Halloween this year… I know, I am a cruel mother.    When were asked to stay an additional week in SC I needed to come up with costumes quickly.

Reflecting

When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby I was gushing with joy for those 10 months.  I envisioned the kind of parent I would be, strong, in control, calm yet firm.  Dobson taught me all I needed to know.  I was ready.

And then I delivered the baby, which wasn't so bad, but then came the post partum depression.  This hit me hard, real hard.   And I struggled, to put it lightly, with nursing.  And sleep.  Oh for love of sleep.  One can never really be prepared on how sleep deprivation totally distorts ones reality.  I found that this motherhood thing was not something I enjoyed at all.

Then quickly and unexpectantly God gave me another one of these creatures.  And there I was feeling lost in a world filled with diapers, poop, and puke.  My world had been completely turned upside-down.  Many nights I went to sleep thinking that I hadn't smiled even just once throughout the day.  I was mess!

Now 4 1/2 years later, three children, and a house that we have remained in for longer than 6 months I can say with confidence that this motherhood thing is enjoyable, not everyday all day.  Is it easy?  Hardly.  In fact it is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I have recently been taking a lot of time to reflect back on the past four years.  I realized this has been an amazing journey full of lots of joy and lots of tears.  It's worth the time and energy to look back because this is my life book and I write the chapters.  Every chapter in my book, the people, the places, the excitement, the pain; all hold a special place.  And I've realized, that all that has happened, needed to happen for me to become the wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and child of God that I am today.

Rock, Paper, Scissor

About a month ago I taught the kids how to play rock, paper, scissor.   And, just like anything else new I show them, they wanted to play for the next 6 hours... especially Korben.  I've used, what I like to call the rock, paper, scissors guide to parenting, to end an argument or a battle for the latest greatest toy.  The excitement of this great hand game faded. 

But then several weeks later Kenzie asked me to play.  I say, "Ok let's play".  She grabs my hand and guides me over to the table to play.  When I get to the table I find this.

 

Who knew…

…that the dentist office could feel like a mini vacation.  I knew I needed a little break from the kiddos when I remembered I had a dentist appointment this morning and I was excited about it.  When the dentist walked in he asked, "How are you today?"  I replied, "I am so relaxed, could I stay for the day?"

First Day

This was written on 9/3 when Korben started school.  I am just getting around to posting it now.

Korben,

You started preschool today.  I  didn't weep and cry but I could have and almost did.  You will be going 3 days a week from 9-1pm.  You see, you are my first and this is all new to me.  You and I, we need the break from one another and I think that it is ok to say that.  We are a lot alike and that makes our relationship tense at times.  When 1pm comes I am excited to hear about your day of play and adventures and you seem curious about mine… I think you are just checking with me to make sure you didn't miss out on anything important.  I am so excited for you and scared for you.  I'm scared to let you go into this world where there is so much that can negatively infect your spirit. But we can do this.  Both of us because we have a God that will never leave us or forsake us. 

Praying for you always.

I love you.

-Mama

Extra Curricular Activities

Kenzie and I were discussing what kind of activities she would be interested in participating in this fall.   I mentioned some choices.  "You could take a dance class, a cooking class, or maybe swimming lessons."  She mentioned that her top choices were cooking and sleeping.  I didn't realize that she found such enjoyment in sleeping that she labeled it as a fun activity.  Let me just mention that Kenzie never sleeps past 7am and most days is up by 6am.  So I discussed with Kenzie the importance of practice.  To master a skill one must practice over and over again.  It would be wise to make a decision to sleep until 8am or 9am and then you will have all the practice you need to become a pro-sleeper.

The only problem is…

Fast forward 10 years…

Me:   Kenzie, time to wake up for school.  

Kenzie:  Mom, not now,  I am practicing to become a pro.

If you give a girl a paintbrush….

she will find the paint and create a masterpiece.

Note to Self

Do not leave a stroller without the break on next to an in ground pool on a windy day with a sleeping baby in it.

This could have been disastrous if my neighbor hadn't been sitting directly next to the stroller and reacted quickly to the movement.

Summer Lovin'

I L.O.V.E summer.

Here are my Top 5 reasons:

5.    Fireflies.  There is something so magical about these little creatures.  When I see them perform their evening light show,  I have one of those moments when I stand in awe of God's glorious creation.

4.    Dressing my children in way less clothes than any other season. The less is more saying holds true for me in summer.  The less amount of time it takes me to find clothes/dress my children,  the more happier this mama is.

3.    The beach.  Nothing like it.  Although it is way more beautiful in the fall and spring when it is so gloriously peaceful with way less people.  But we love ocean swimming in the summer.

2.    Fresh veggies from Poppy's garden.

And the number 1 reason  I love summer...

1.    The summer season somehow gives me permission to eat ice cream every single night… with hot fudge… although spring, fall, and winter give me this same permission, even though ice cream is one of my least favorite desserts.

Sports Taken to a New Level

Korben had sports camp this past week.  It was great for him and slightly unbearable for me.  While he played, I tried to manage a crying infant (sports camp just so happens to coincide with Koah's naptime) and entertain a whiny 3 year old in the middle of a field in 88 degrees and 100% humidity.  And while Korben really enjoyed his time, I was excited when the week finally came to an end.  The coach, along with several other mothers who brought their cameras (I didn't fall into this category), requested a group picture.  I looked on (cameraless) proud of my talented boy when  my boy began to pick his nose… and he picked and continued to pick. 

So there you have it,  while it is not bad enough that my kid picks his nose in public, he has now been photographed partaking in this event.  If only sports camp had dedicated a day to this sport he could had been the coach.

Karr vs. Car

We bought our house from a couple with the last name Karr.  We have referred to them on occasion since moving in.  Korben has been recently asking about these Karrs.  I have explained to him who they are and he seems so intrigued by these people he has never met.

And then it hit me… he thinks that cars once lived here.  I think he envisions our min van, Mrs. Wagaman's Suburban, Nana & Poppy's Highlander, Aunt Geri's Tourag , and Papa's pick-up truck sitting down conversing about what kind of people they would like their drivers to be, all while eating a well balanced meal of oil, gasoline, and antifreeze. Oh, how he would love to   converse with cars and trucks, especially garbage trucks.

Eat a Healthy Breakfast

Korben began complaining about eating his breakfast.

Korben:  I don't like oatmeal anymore Mama. 

Me:  Really, you liked it two days ago, and the day before that.

Korben:  I don't like it today.

Me:  Ok, here is your choice.  You can eat your oatmeal or you can have spinach and string beans?

Korben:  I'll have spinach and string beans.

And per his request here he is with his bowl full of veggies for breakfast.  And for the record he ate the entire bowl.

Thank You My Friend

I don't love my house. It's a house. Nothing special, nothing fancy, but it is clear to me why God has placed us here for now… my neighbor and friend. This post is for you Laurie.

I want to thank you for helping me make rational decisions when I was being completely irrational, especially over the past few weeks. For crying with me and laughing with me. For making me laugh when I was crying. For helping haul my gear onto the beach and then caring for my children while I was nursing Koah. Then holding Koah so I could be with K & MK. Most of all I thank you for loving my children when I couldn't take one more second of the insanity. You have been a blessing to our entire family.

It's Coming…

I knew that it was bound to happen but I didn't think it would be this soon.  We are going to have to purchase a mini van.  We explored some other options but the mini van seems the most practical.  I will probably love it once I get it but the thought kind of scares me.  It means most other vehicles are too small for my growing family… sometimes I still can't believe that I am a mother to 3 children.  These little people depend on me and sometimes I can be the most undependable person.  When I had one child I drove a Mercedes… those were the days.  When I had two children I drove and still drive a 4 Runner.  And now…

• the mini van,
• the room for 8 mini van,
• the what fills the preschool parking lot mini van,
• the I am a mother on a mission that I am late for because my kid pooped through his outfit and is puking up the crayon he just ate mini van, 
• the what doesn't need the "Baby on Board" sign because we all know that it is just a given mini van. 
• the I am going to love mini van. 

Stay tuned for pictures of her, she's a beauty.

Parade Noises

Does anyone actually enjoy listening to 5 fire trucks, 3 ambulances, and 4 police cars simultaneously sound their sirens during a parade?

Kenzie certainly does not.

Koah doesn't seem to mind.

Invention

I need to create some kind of apparatus that can permanently attach my newborn son to my boob. .. well maybe not permanently that would be weird but temporarily would be nice.  It seems to be the only place that he finds comfort and food of course.   It's interesting how the place that he finds the most comfort is the very same place that I have intense pain.  The things we do for our children.

Cape May Zoo

 

2006	2007	2008

To My Sweet Number 3

Dear Koah,

We've waited a long time for you and now you are here, although I think you would have been more than happy to stay where you were for a bit longer.  So we are adjusting, you and me.  We both have been riding a long rollercoaster of emotions these past 2 weeks.  We are figuring each other out and although we have had some frustration along the way this week we will persevere.

I have watched your  brother and sister wow me over the past few years and I am excited to see what you have in store for me.

I pray for you.  I pray that I can be the mother you need,  that your father and I can raise you to be a Godly man in this crazy world.  I am thankful and grateful that God has entrusted me to care for you.

Let the adventure begin…

I love you.

-Mama

Where's Kenzie?

"Where's Kenzie?" asked Jeff while we were outside….

When we finally found Kenzie she was in the kitchen doing this:

Notice how she did get out her own knife to chisel away at this cinnamon bread and brownies.

Chaos defined.

Dictionary.com's definition of the word chaos:

a state of utter confusion or disorder; a total lack of organization or order

Yep, this pretty much describes my home right about now.   If you are unsure of the meaning of this word, stop by my home for a live action example.

Through It All

I was feeling all down about still being pregnant.  I had a VERY difficult conversation with my doctor about choosing not to induce labor at this point.  He was trying to persuade me into inducing labor yesterday.  Am I uncomfortable and anxious?  YES!  I just want to wait a little bit longer.  I was angry and hurt about how a doctor who delivers babies could be so rude and arrogant.

And then I had a moment when I saw a light, a little glimpse from God and realized that I am blessed beyond belief.  I have carried this baby full term and I am able to have children…3.  This delivery may not happened the way I want but I have someone who is bigger than me and his plans are way better.  Will I still need to see this light more, this little reminder from God, most definitely because it is easy for me to forget that I always have God's grace and love in times of frustration, sorrow, and pain. And on this journey as a mother emotions that I never thought existed come from somewhere inside me.  I am so thankful for not having to take this journey alone.  I am so grateful for my earthly family and friends, especially my husband who supports and loves me through it all and I am most thankful for my heavenly father .

How my children are different?

So I had impetigo on my face(of all places), a very noticeable red oozing rash.

The kids both commented on this.  Here is what they said:

Korben:  That stuff on your face is yucky Mama.

Kenzie:  What happened to your face Mama?  Do you get hurt?  I will get a band aid and help your boo boo  feel better.  And I will give you a kiss too. Don't be sad Mama.

Still waiting...

40 weeks pregnant and still no baby.

Happy Day

No,the baby isn't here yet but....

We have made the decision to hire a landscaper to cut our grass.  Check "cut grass" off the list of things to do each week.  Oh how I love seeing our newly cut lawn each week that my husband didn't have to spend an afternoon doing.  And the landscaper is our neighbor so he hooked us up with a pretty sweet deal.

Happy Mothers Day!

Korben questions me on Mother's Day:

When is it Happy Little Boys Day?

When isn't it my sweet son... wash, cook, clean, fill, peel, heat, pick, cut, etc, etc...this is my day everyday.

So it's been awhile.

Korben:  Mama can you please clean the toilet it smells really bad and looks really dirty?

Kenzie:  Yeah, it is really stinky.

Me: Eventually.

Preach On

Kenzie:  I have a hammer and it's all mine.

Korben: No Kenzie.  Everything we have is from God.  Because God gave us everything we have it is not all yours.  You need to share all these things from God with me.  Can I have a turn with the hammer?

Kenzie:  Amen!

I laughed so hard after hearing this and then I said, preach on brotha!

Totally Grossed Out

I forgot to mention that on our joyous trip to the aquarium our daughter pulled a real disgusting move while in the filthy nasty bathroom.  I can't the vision out of my head. 

So here I am washing my hands after she has washed and dried hers.  She couldn't wait patiently beside me like a little angel from, oh no.  Unbeknownst to me she spotted something delicious and sticky on the floor.  Oh yes a chewed piece of gum.  Still unbeknownst to me this chewed piece of gum on the nasty bathroom floor gets placed in her mouth and is now being chewed.

Now fully aware of what has just happened I needed to go back into the stall so I could puck… not really but my stomach was feeling particularly nauseous.

Let me say this again and then I need to move on… my daughter chewed a already chewed piece of gum off the floor of a public restroom.

My Little Piggies

It is suddenly clear to me why toes are referred to as piggies.  When I looked down at my extremely swollen feet and toes today, I realized that my toes were as plump and round as little piggies.

Aquarium

We had a great day at the Camden Aquarium with some friends a couple weeks ago.

Kenzie enjoyed the fish, penguins, and the seals.  She didn't like the sharks. 
"Why don't you like the sharks Kenzie?"
"Because I don't like the music that is playing."
I didn't like the music either.

Here she is admiring the fish.

On the other hand, my son was not so interested in water life.  He preferred running, jumping, skipping, or rolling down the various ramps throughout the aquarium.  If only cars and big construction trucks had been floating around in big tanks he would have been awe struck and the ramp wouldn't have gotten nearly as much use.

Big Me...

No I'm not talking about the fun tune by the Foo Fighters.  I am talking about me, my stomach, as this rather thin women at the food store so kindly felt the need to share.

The story goes:

I'm at a local grocery store buying 2 items that I forgot to buy the day before.  The cashier notices I'm pregnant (there is no hiding it anymore).  

She says, so when are you due? 

I reply, May 20th. 

She then says, Are you sure there is only one baby in there? 
Me trying to keep my composer, Yep. 

She continues, That must be one big baby.

This is not what  I need or want to hear.  In other words she said you are huge, you look like a boat or a house or any large object. .. If only I had a large object it would have been hurled directly at her forehead.  I have I mentioned I'm feeling a little sensitive about my growing belly.  I know I should be embracing my new large figure with excitement but some days I just want to bend down to put my shoes on with ease.

Week: 33

Lyrics

Actual Lyrics: The Lord liveth and bless it be the rock and let the God of our salvation be exalted.

Korben's & Kenzie's  Version:  The Lord limit and less it be the rock and let the bomb of our salvation be exalted.

Fashion Statement

Here she is sportin' a dirty inside out backwards shirt, Korben's underwear, and her sparkly princess shoes.

Snow Day

Hoping for snow with inside out pjs... it worked.

The Truth

Me:  Kenzie why is there the green paint from the baby's room on your leg?
         (Jeff painted the nursery this past weekend)

Kenzie:  Well, the paint can swished open and the paint come over to me and jumped on my leg.

Maybe it is time to have a discussion on the importance of telling the truth.

Now broadcasting in High Definition...

I am pregnant!

It frustrates me when people say," we are pregnant".  Let me just be clear, I am pregnant  and nothing about my husband is.  I am gaining weight, I don’t fit into my "normal" clothes,  once in awhile my back is aching, I feel like I am constantly carrying around a cantaloupe evolving into a watermelon, and my crying hormones have been turned on in full force.  Now, I will say that my husband does have to deal with me as these issues all arise and this is no easy task but he is a great support and encourager.  Enough said.

Waddler

I am waddling around today, because I am pregnant?...  Oh no that would a normal good reason for waddling.  I pulled a real swift move at the gym today and now I feel like I have been riding a horse for the past 20 hours or at least what I think it would feel like if I were riding a horse.  I don't ride horses.  I digress.  I am walking on the treadmill; a nice normal pace.  I get distracted by one of the TVs hanging to my right.  I have my iPod on so I don't have a clue what is being said, but it is always fun to speculate.  Left foot decides to move off the rotating treadmill belt, right foot continues to move, quickly, to the end of the treadmill.   Left foot planted solid in one spot, right foot  moving away, really far, too far away from left foot...  This is what gymnasts call a split. Oh yes, a split indeed but I am no gymnast.

Things I want to do this year.

1. Read more books not related to being a better, stronger, mature mother.  It's not that I am suddenly a supermom and don’t' need anybody else's recommendations on motherhood, I just need a change.  I am off to a good start with this one.  I just finished reading a Walk in the Woods.  I highly recommend this.
2. Cook better meals for my family.  This involves some organization skills on my part.  I need to make a list of all the items I need from the food store before going.  Making this list involves knowing what we will be having for dinner every night.  This one will be a challenge.  I tend to wonder around the food store grabbing items that never really  come together to make one great meal.
3. Cut my children's hair more often.  This has never been a priority for me especially since for so long they didn’t have much hair to cut.  I now often notice them constantly attempting to remove the hair that has grown into their field of vision.
4. Send out the 2007 Christmas cards before Christmas 2008.  This is the first year I decided to send out cards and here they still sit in my house unwritten, unaddressed, unsent.
5. Run 2 miles without stopping once.  This may seem easy for most people but not me.  I have never in my life been able to run.  I have struggled with asthma most of my life and couldn't run 2 minutes without feeling like I was dying.  This will be a challenge especially pregnant and then with 3 kids.  I like to set my goals high.

When you're tired...

you're tired.

The Answer is No.

To my friends and family who I know read this and have been asking.  I will not find out the gender of our baby.  Like the other two, this one will also be a surprise, wouldn't want it any other way.

Dinner Conversation

At dinner Korben asked this question, Did someone shoot out some gas?  I smell something.

Daddy: Not me.
Kenzie: Not me.
Mama: Not me.
Korben: I think maybe I did.

Mystery Solved.

Interesting Question

Kenzie asked me a very interesting question this morning.  I found that I didn't have a great intuitive answer for her.

Mama, Why do my pajamas have pockets?

I mean really, why do they?  Makes no sense to me.

A Warm January

Today is January 8th and it was 68 degrees today. Yeah that’s right 68! The sun felt so wonderfully glorious these last couple days that I am scared of what’s to come… and I know it’s a comin’… the cold, the snow, the ice. Until then I am so enjoying every single moment of outside time. I love warm weather!